Review: Saints Row The Third
Friday, November 11, 2011 at 5:25PM
Chris in Hooked Gamers, Review, Xbox 360

Volition Inc. has always been a curious case for me when it came to their line-up of titles.  I enjoyed the Red Faction series as well as their exceptional work on FreeSpace 1 & 2 but I didn’t get into either of the Summoner titles.  When the Xbox 360 launched in 2005 Volition was presented with an incredible opportunity.  Since Rockstar Games had gone silent to work on their Rage engine and what would become Grand Theft Auto IV there was nary a next generation open-world title to be found, something fans had been craving since GTA San Andreas.  The result was Saint’s Row, Volition’s first outing into a sandbox title.  The game did well commercially and was cited as what fans could play to tide them over until the next GTA title was announced.  Saint’s Row 2 picked up where its predecessor left off and completely jumped the shark, ditching any sort of melodrama in favor of over-the-top gameplay ideas like the Septic Avenger, sing-alongs, and a strong cooperative element.

It’s been three years since we last saw the Third Street Saints but they are back in action and are more over-the-top than ever.  Against one of the most crowded holiday line-ups in gaming history though can it hold its own?

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Third Street for Life

When we last left the Third Street Saints they were at the top of their game.  After having successfully taken down Ultor (Volition’s go-to evil corporation and possible series tie-in to Red Faction) and eliminated the major competing gangs in Stillwater the boss (you), Johnny Gat and Shaundi have become international celebrities.  The Saints can get away with practically anything and with the power of Ultor’s media division behind them everything from merchandising to even major Hollywood films are being made about them.  No one can stop them or, at least, that’s what our “heroes” thought.

During what was to be a routine “for fun” bank robbery the tables are turned on the trio as the seemingly innocent tellers draw submachine guns on them.  After a daring attempt to hijack the vault with a helicopter fails they are captured and awaken on a jumbo jet owned by Philippe Loren, leader of an international criminal organization known as the Syndicate.  The Syndicate is moving into Stillwater and the three are offered their lives in exchange for a huge cut of the Saints’ profits.  Naturally, our heroes decline the generous proposal and one explosive, bullet-filled escape later we find ourselves in Steelport.  As dirty a city as Stillwater was, Steelport is a cesspool in comparison as three gangs run the town under the umbrella of the Syndicate.  Out for revenge, our heroes must find new allies and do what they do best if they want to take over the city.

If you thought taking over the city of Steelport would be as easy as it was to control Stillwater you’ll find this will be no easy task.  Three rival gangs that inhabit this burg: the Luchadores, a gang of Mexican wrestlers; the Deckers, a team of nigh emo cyberpunks; and the Morningstar gang headed up by Philippe Loren and his evil Asian twin guards Viola and Kiki.  Each occupy a section of the town and have missions specific to them (no missions seem to correspond with more than one gang).  Just like the previous titles as well there is no required order needed to take them on in so you can handle them in almost any order you wish throughout a large part of the game.

To aid you on your conquest you have a cast of old and new allies.  This troupe of characters that you interact with is certainly an eclectic bunch but, then again, when has Saints Row not gone for over-the-top?  Shaundi, the murderous temptress with a passion for explosives as well as Pierce the wisecracking minion are present throughout this tale of street revenge but new allies appear to aid you in this new town.  Oleg Kirrlov, a giant of a man, becomes your ally after the Syndicate decides to create a clone army based on him.  Angel De La Muerte, voiced by none other than Hulk Hogan, is an ex-Luchadore and will aid you in your fight to wrestle control over their territory.  Kinzie Kensington is a former FBI agent who has it out for the Deckers.  Zimos, who wants payback against the Morningstars, is probably the funniest of the new supporting cast as he has a microphone cane that auto-tunes his tracheotomied voice box.  Each one is quite entertaining but Zimos is easily the one you’ll want to hang out with the most.

Who Wouldn’t Want to be Johnny Gat?

Much like the previous games in the series, Saints Row The Third continues in the tradition of waging a turf war against rival gangs with the added goal of wiping out the criminal organization that owns Steelport.  The game also follows in the tradition of starting you out with nothing and forcing you to work your way up, putting you through tutorial missions initially to set up your first cribs as well as each type of activity you can participate in.  While the variety of activities you can take on is small (on the same order as the previous two games) it is a varied enough affair to not have you coming back to them wondering what you need to do.

Returning to Saints Row The Third are several classic activities as well as a host of new ones.  Snatch, the prostitute capture activity as well as Insurance Fraud, Trail Blazing and Mayhem return from Saints Row 2.  Four new activities, Tank Mayhem, Guardian Angel, Trafficking and the curiously named Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax bring the count up to twelve.  Tank Mayhem plays out just like a standard Mayhem event albeit with, well, a tank and both Guardian Angel and Trafficking have you escorting someone throughout Steelport.  Professor Genki’s event however is an entirely different animal all together.  A Japanese game show, you are subjected to a Smash TV-esque point grinder where you have to shoot enemies dressed as mascots (furries, beer brands, what have you) as well as signs that liter the rooms while avoiding walls of fire and electricity.  The end result is hilarious and really does a great job of spoofing the source material it is based on.  If anything, this should be the first activity you complete all the way through.

One thing about Saints Row you will notice is that everything from the previous games has been upgraded, an enticing fact considering that Saints Row 2 was already a terrific game.  The character creation system is even more powerful than before and rivals that of even Bethesda and Bioware titles.  This customization factor also applies to vehicles and your gang, albeit at a smaller level.  Weapons can also be upgraded to outlandish levels (visually anyway) so it is worth your time to spent that hard earned cash.

Outlandish is probably the best word to describe the Saints Row series and The Third is no exception.  Nothing is sacred in the Saints’ tale of urban conquest and every single exotic taboo, fetish and otherwise deviant activity is either joked about, referenced, or utilized somewhere in the game.  You name it, there’s a joke.  Heck, you even visit a BDSM club early on in the game to rescue a principle character which ends with one of the most hilarious (and wrong) chase sequences ever conceived of.  Volition certainly pulled out all the stops on this one.

Cooperative play, something that has yet to be implemented to its logical extent in a lot of Saints Row’s main competition, is back and while it is just as fun as you remember one new item is probably the most outlandish Whored Mode.  Yes, you read that right.  A take on the now classic horde mode, Whored has you facing off against increasingly harder waves of gimps, prostitutes, zombies and others using weapons such as the Fart in a Jar (quite possibly the deadliest grenade ever made), the Penetrator rubber dildo bat (I can’t believe I just typed that).  Despite its raunchy nature it is surprisingly fun and extends the game a significant bit beyond the singleplayer experience.

Strapping It On

A lot can be said about Saints Row The Third but the only word that wouldn’t be used to describe it would be ‘subtle.’  Volition has refined their crime-riddled sandbox series to a fine point with The Third and it is a must have for series veterans as well as those who wanted GTA to have a better sense of humor.  It definitely isn’t for everyone and much of its raunchy nature could be an automatic turn off for prospective gamers looking for something wholesome but if you are looking to test the limits of taste and have fun the whole time through you’d be hard pressed not to pick this one up.

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